Make sure to reassure them that there is no right or wrong way, and if they choose not to go that does not mean that they didn’t love the person who has died. Remind them that they can leave at any moment and that they can change their mind at any point. Make sure they understand it is their decisionĮxplain that they can stand at the door and look from afar, or they can go close and touch the person – it is their choice. Speak to the undertakers as often they can accommodate visits to the room beforehand. If possible, take them to the room before the body is there so they can get a sense of what it will be like. The lid will be open so we will be able to see her body and she will be dressed in the outfit that you helped to choose”.ĭescribing the room that the person who has died will be in, is also important. Describe what they might seeīe clear about how the body might be presented, for example, “Mummy will be lying in a wooden box called a coffin. Be very clear that when we are alive and go to sleep, our hearts still beat and we still breathe, but the person who has died is no longer breathing and their heart is no longer beating. This also means that their skin will be cold to touch.Įxplain that although their eyes will be closed, they are not asleep. You could explain that the person’s heart isn’t working anymore, and therefore their blood isn’t being pumped around the body so they will look pale. Explain how the person’s body might be differentĮxplaining that the person’s body may look and feel different is also very important. If the conversations have already taken place about the person’s body not working anymore and that they have died, it makes the conversation about viewing a body easier for your child to understand. If a child is asked “do you want to go and see Uncle Jack?” then they will, of course, say that they do, as they will not understand that it is his body and that he is no longer alive. It is important for children to have understood that the person has died. Make sure your child has understood that the person has died If your child decides they do want to see the body then there are some important ways you can help to prepare them. How to prepare children and young people to view the body of a loved one This balance is important for children to be able to carry the positive memories alongside their grief and loss. It can also help young children to understand the death of a loved one as they are able to see the physical body.īeing left with the image of a person’s body doesn’t have to be a negative thing, and we encourage conversations both about what the person looked like after they died, as well as the conversations about what they were like when they were alive. If children have clarity they often can manage this very well. Often a child’s imagination about what someone will look like after they have died is worse than the reality. Parents often worry that children will be left with the image of a person’s body and that it will be scary. The important thing is that a child or young person is given the choice and that this is an informed choice – they need to understand what viewing the body will mean. The decision to view the body of a loved one who has died is a very personal choice for adults, and it is the same for children.
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